Mental Health Help for Catholics at the Holidays

By Catherine DiNuzzo

Mental health is a vast topic, and it can be especially challenging during the holiday season. For those who have experienced mental struggles like anxiety, the upcoming holiday season stands to be anything but “the most wonderful time of the year.” We all want to be excited about the birth of Christ, however, for many individuals, the events, gatherings, and interactions can be very difficult. Here, I hope to unpack for you 6 tips to hopefully help empower you to have a holiday rooted in healthy mental wellness that allows you to enjoy all the good the season offers.

6 Tips to Help Prepare

1. Accept that this is a stressful time of year. Give yourself the courtesy to know that there

are real and reasonable stressors added with parties, family time, special liturgies, gift shopping, work obligations and end-of-year deadlines, travel, weather concerns, and so on. Acceptance is a good starting point to prepare your mind for these and other triggers that are likely to make your anxiety flare up. Being ready for stress, anxiety, and concerns can help you make your way through the difficult times ahead.

2. Don't be a Bully... to YOURSELF! Once we accept the reality that the holidays might bring

challenges and anxieties, the next step is to be kind to ourselves, and we do this by not being our own bully. Every one of us has been told over and over again that we should not be a bully and this is a widely accepted truth. However, we are often our own worst bullies and don't even notice it. Frequently, we say terrible and nasty things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else. I challenge you: the next time you are going through a hard patch or you are feeling anxious and start to have negative self-talk, ask yourself, "Would I say the same thing to a friend?" If not, then stop and give yourself the same kindness and love you would give to a friend.

3. Allow yourself to have more than one feeling at a time. Especially during the holidays,

you’re likely to feel many simultaneous emotions, such as happiness, sadness, excitement, fear, trepidation, or self-conscious feelings, to name a few. Feel them! It’s okay to look ahead at the time you’ll be spending with extended family and know that although you’re excited to see your favorite aunt or cousin, you’re perhaps not as excited to see some other family member. Or, you know that you’re tired from the past year and want some quiet and alone time but attending your company Christmas party is a smart career move that you should probably attend. There are countless scenarios where your emotions might seem in conflict - and they probably are - so be prepared that this is coming and allow yourself to have more than one feeling at a time!

4. Give yourself permission to have boundaries. Boundaries are good and healthy, and

preparing boundaries ahead of time is a good approach to mental health. Many Catholics believe that boundaries are unloving or unkind, but boundaries are safeguards against ongoing hurt, trauma, and toxicity. You have permission to set boundaries.

5. Know that anxiety is a natural response of the human body. When you experience

anxiety, your body is merely responding to a perceived danger. When that danger is real, your body responds with a life-saving response, frequently called the “fight, flight, or freeze”

response. But when your body perceives a danger that isn’t real, your body is responding to

what I call the “anxious response”, when you feel anxious about being anxious, which makes you more and more anxious. Spend time acknowledging how your body is responding and determine whether your body’s response to the perceived danger is rational (i.e. a bear coming at you) or irrational ("If everyone doesn't like the present I get them, they will hate me and I will have no friends.") When the dangers are irrational, don’t allow them to have control over your mental health, instead work through them, especially with the next suggestion…

6. Create Your Net. A net (which I refer to as a hammock) is a healthy tool to create for

yourself so that you don’t struggle through your mental health alone. Remember that God is

right there with you, along with your guardian angel, and the communion of saints! (Two saints you might be drawn to for help with your mental health are St. Dymphna and St. John of God.) There are people in your life that you can trust and count on. Take the time to identify these safe and reliable people (family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, clergy, spiritual director, etc.) that can be your hammock, and allow them to wrap you in their care and support just like a hammock wraps the body and supports you (and hopefully brings mental health help for Catholics at the holidays.)

The holidays can be a blessed time, and they can be overwhelming - hopefully following these 6 tips can help your holiday season be a good one.

*Are you looking for immediate help right now? This site has more free information, including videos of talks, podcasts, articles, and several 'pending' downloads that are soon to uploaded for our visitors. Also, there are paid videos, books, and we are excited to direct you to join our email list so that when our upcoming release of new books happens, you'll know and have immediate access! Two books are coming soon!... "The Companion Workbook" (guided companion for "The Catholic Guide Through Anxiety" and "Boundaries" - the newest full-length book! More coming soon!